Invites from car-makers generally fall into two categories. Either we are asked to come and drive an all-new car or we are called to attend a press conference; it’s that simple. Occasionally, however, we do also get invited for celebrations; like the one for Renault-Nissan’s millionth car produced in India. What was different this time though, was that Nissan wanted us to help assemble it. Really! Surely, they weren’t serious? Of course, we accepted. But had we bitten off more than we could chew? Probably.
Things don’t really get off to a good start. It’s a sunny day in Chennai but already, I see dark clouds gathering. Assembling a car is some way out of my comfort zone. And what makes it worse is that I’m going to be producing Renault-Nissan’s millionth car from this plant! Pressure: hah! Will I be able to jump from station to station and help the guys and gals (yes there are many) assemble the Micra? Will I know what to do, which tools to use? And will I manage to do it correctly, first time out? Surely not. Still, they’ve promised to help. What’s also giving me the shivers is that the assembly line is going to be live, running at full steam. This could end in disaster. I can almost see the headlines: “Journalist from Autocar halts production at Nissan”. Oh no!
Checking into the 650-acre plant is difficult enough. Landing up at the facility is easy, you can’t miss it. But which gate should we use? This place is bigger than Mumbai airport. And how do I get directions? “Where’s the production line?”, isn’t really going to help.
Once inside this mini-city, we get lost again and the local taxi driver is no help. We don’t understand each other and the driver seems to be asking the guys at the plant all the wrong questions. As a result, we drift from one massive building to the other, enraging security guards everywhere; this facility employs 12,000 people (40,000 indirectly), produces 12 distinctive models and is the second largest exporter of cars in India. A few phone calls later, we land up at the correct gate, only to be grilled further by the security.”So, you are here to assemble a car? Really? Show us your ID card. Are you a joker?” Luckily, someone from public relations comes and rescues us; security wants us to empty our bags, confiscate our cameras and lock us up for attempted espionage.
