If I were transport minister
Health and safety measures from the transport minister of 'Banistan'.
Published on Apr 16, 2015 04:33:00 PM
18,816 Views
Follow us onWe live in increasingly 'protected' times. Hardly a day goes by without something being banned. Now, as most of you know and appreciate, these bans are put in place for your own 'protection'. Books, movies, documentaries, sex toys, mannequins wearing lingerie (no, this is real), 15-year-old diesel cars, beef, the lot. Now I admit this could be irritating if you take your freedom seriously, but just look at the raw power they wield. They can simply snap their fingers and ban things - amazing. What power! Being someone who worships power of all sorts, I find this appealing too. There are all sorts of things I'd love to ban and get rid of if, for example, I were transport minister.
There'll also be stringent norms introduced for braking and handling: you can't sell your car here unless you pass them. On the other hand, supercars above 500 horsepower will get duty cuts. Hypercars get a three-year tax holiday; the 'youth of our nation' need to see more of them on the streets. It affects gross national happiness. In addition, every local government has to organise at least five motorsport events a year for bikes, cars and go-karts. This is to prevent biker suicides committed by the likes of the 'ya ali' and 'jai bajrang bali' gangs. FMSCI and MAI are banned; they've been running the circus for too long. Electric cars get a five-year tax holiday and import duties are halved. I could go on and on; ahh, if only I were the transport minister of 'Banistan'.
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